For friends
How to sit with someone without becoming their clinician
You are a classmate, not a clinic. Clear dos and don’ts — then go back to being a friend.
Do this
Be a friend, not a diagnosis
- Ask once, clearly: “Do you want company, or do you want ideas?”
- Listen like you are not collecting evidence for a diagnosis.
- Help them get to a trusted adult if school, sleep, food, or safety is falling apart.
- Keep their story smaller than the group chat.
- Check in later. Repair is allowed to be ordinary.
Do not do this
Stay out of the clinician seat
- Do not label them — ADHD, bipolar, “toxic,” “attention-seeking.”
- Do not make their night your speech about how you overcame it.
- Do not promise secrecy if they are in danger. Safety beats a pact.
- Do not become the only person they have. That is too much for a classmate.
When it is bigger
Crisis territory
If they talk about wanting to die, disappearing, or not being safe at home — stay with them if you can. Get an adult. Use 988 together. You will not have failed by escalating.
For the science behind freeze, start with Learn.
If you or a friend are in danger: skip this site and use 988, text HOME to 741741, or call 911.